As a reporter, I’ve traveled to many different wars and covered what it was like to be on the front lines, all so the people that were living back home could see what was really going on.
The problem is that I paid a hefty price for giving that knowledge to the American people, and there are very few people that realize how difficult it is for a reporter to see all of these things and then come back home.
The Horrors of War
While it is true that many people have a basic idea of the unspeakable things that happen during war, it is impossible to really understand it unless you have been there. That is why I have always worked so hard to cover every aspect of war.
The truth is, even when you are able to see it on television you cannot begin to understand what it is really like unless you are there, in the same position as the troops, experiencing it on a firsthand basis. Even then, much of what I experienced is incomprehensible and it ultimately became something that haunted me every night in my dreams.
Coming Back Home
You would think that things would get easier when it is finally time to come back home but unfortunately, that is hardly ever the case. The problem started when everyone that had been home the entire time thought that I could come home and be the exact same person that I was before I ever left.
They failed to understand that this was impossible for me to do because the things that I had witnessed changed me forever. As a result, I could not simply come home and laugh it up with friends and family while all of these images were still playing out inside my head.
An Emotional Toll
The one thing that is for certain is that all of this took a huge emotional toll on me and subsequently, on the people that I’m closest to. I found that each time I returned, I was more dissociated than I had been the time before.
The fact that no one that has not seen the same things as I have only exacerbated the problem. Eventually, it all culminated to make me feel as though I was completely isolated and cut off from the rest of the world.
Learning to Cope
For years, I struggled. It got to the point where I eventually decided that I no longer wanted to cover wars because I just couldn’t take it. I realize long ago that I had to learn how to cope with daily life and begin to let this go but that was hard for me.
The thing that made it possible was that I had an overwhelming desire to reconnect with my family and I finally came to the realization that I had seriously lost touch with them as a direct result of my experiences.
Putting the Pieces Back Together Again
Putting the pieces back together again has a lot to do with finding the best health care provide to suit your needs. Many mental health doctor can be found within your community as well as online. It’s important that you chose a doctor in your network because out of network visit can be very expensive. Today, I still have nightmares. I really don’t think that I will be able to get all of these images out of my mind. However, with counseling and a lot of time I have learned how to work through my emotions, at least most of the time.
At least I can make a connection with my loved ones once again, but I know that I will never be the same person that I was before I embarked on this journey to make other people aware of what really happens during war. Putting the pieces back to